Edition - January 2011 

Sabotaging Yourself
and
Not getting what you want

Happy 2011

From time to time, we feel that life is just one big struggle with a chain of never ending problems.

Well in reality life does not have to be this way but exactly the opposite. Life is about creating what you desire and then pursuing it. A lot of it based on the way we all think.

There are lot of beliefs buried in our subconscious mind which restricts us in reaching out to our goals in life.

If you are not getting what you want then subconscious is holding you back with negative thoughts. For example you maybe looking to ‘getting rich’ but your dominant inner belief keeps uttering ‘Earning lots of money isn’t possible or I am not really capable’. Both statements are going in different directions.

What is actually happening is that your conscious and subconscious are almost always in conflict. You consciously keep saying to yourself "I want more money" while your subconscious mind says, "it is not possible to earn that amount of money".

As a result the negative vibes are much stronger and usually dominates the outcome. Thus your mindset is now not determined to make that much effort to take the right steps to make money.

Sometimes we do really get positive and push our mind into accepting it is possible. We do start taking the right course of action and as the time goes if we hit any obstacles – our mind triggers the old Negative formula that ‘I told you so’ and ‘you are wrong to pursue’.

The critical present conditions of competition, conflicting ideas, and changing environment/situations would immediately fire up our previous Negative thought of ‘impossibility of achievement’ – stopping you from what you desire.

When your mind (conscious and subconscious) are not in agreement, it produces negative emotion. The chance of reaching your goal depends upon how strong this negativity is.

Do you ever think WHY? Few Examples:

Why do Cricketers or Athletes perform below ‘Par’ or at times ‘Exceptionally Well’?

When you see most of them go through rigorous routine of exercises and practice – yet the performance depends on their thinking at the time. We wonder why the same cricketer scored so many runs or bowl well in on match whilst in another match he is unable to take any wickets or go out for a duck. Abilities are all there but the positiveness is not strong enough or conflicting mindset.

Why do people get Depressed or cant overcome Depression?

Lots of people suffer tend to go through extensive therapy to overcome. Often they rely on medication and some special treatments. It is more or less psychological issues. Again mostly the emotional hurts are getting buried in the subconscious and never able to shift or change it. It eventually destroys the person.

Why do people resort to Drugs or Alcohol leading to Addictions?

Frequently people opt to taking alcohol or drugs to help them feel better when feeling sorry for themselves or looking for self-pity. There are times they are unable to handle situations which go wrong or have made big mistakes. To overcome their guilt, inability to put things right or inwardly feeling incapable – creates dependency on the substance regularly available leading to Self-sabotage. In the process they damage their health, relationships, reputation and often support from anyone. Yet – being addicted – it is difficult to overcome.

So do we really sabotage ourselves?

Basic reason – we can’t get what we want than we resort to Self-pity – leading to Self-sabotage. This is either to get attention from others by hurting ourselves self-pity) or to punish oneself for not been able to get what you wanted.

Things we do to sabotage ourselves?

• Develop FEAR of Being ACCEPTED (fear of rejection)
• Fear of Building Rapport or Speaking up (fear of Ridicule)
• Feeling Guilt – leading to nervousness, indecisiveness
• Getting Impatient
• Becoming Irritated or Frustrated
• Losing Temper
• Becoming Judgemental
• Biased or Prejudice

The cause of these situations is that we don’t rectify the negative emotion at the time. Instead we tend to build up that as reason to justify our decision not to progress. Usually it suits us to stay in our comfort zone rather than go through any pain.

Remember in life we progress when we do go through some pain. Hard-work is painful. Practicing or when making an effort means coming out of pleasure-zone.

To stop the sabotage – we need to develop Positive Attitude towards ourselves

The aim is to CHANGE your Negative thoughts or Beliefs into Positive – ‘EVERYTIME’ you receive the wrong thoughts.

Start having your inner talk saying ‘Stop – ‘I am Positive and …….’ utter the appropriate statement to get you into Right frame of mindset other than Negative. You MUST CORRECT at the Right Moment and not later on. Change into Positive feeling to break the habit of negative thoughts creeping inside you.

The way you feel is the result of your thoughts – so become Positive and Stop the emotional Hurt by Sabotaging yourself.

Thus your efforts will be rewarded to make your goals or dreams come true.

I shall be glad to hear how you progress or any personal situations you would like to share with me personally.

Thanking you for your continued support and comments.

Be Successful.   -- Bip Parmar