10 Emotions that can Sabotage our Success

Lifezone Training

Leading Life Towards Success

Monthly Newsletter

Sep-10 Edition

These 10 emotions are like 10 seeds – or rather ‘Weeds’ - once they are planted in your garden – then they will flourish and nothing worthwhile can be allowed to grow there. Weeds – means we need to take corrective actions to pull them out and plant better emotions.

‘We must cultivate our own garden’ – Voltaire

Emotion Checklist

A negative emotion indicates something is wrong in our life, and we must make change. We can either change our action, or our perception

(Next month Oct.10 --- Ten Emotions that help you Succeed in Life)

 1.   Discomfort
 2.   Fear
 3.   Feeling Hurt
 4.   Anger
 5.   Frustration
 6.   Disappointment
 7.   Guilt
 8.   Feeling Unworthy/ Inadequacy
 9.   Overwhelmed/ Overloaded
 10.   Loneliness

Actions

Check points!

Discomfort
When we are ‘Uncomfortable’ – it bothers us and we keep getting the nagging sensation that things are not quite right.

Either mild embarrassment, boredom, impatience, uneasy feeling, or distress - these emotions give us a message that we are feeling not quite right or perceiving things right or our actions are not producing right results.

Discomfort feeling is painful and will intensify if not dealt with properly. The anticipation of possible emotional pain is much more intense than discomfort you might be feeling at that moment. Imagination can make things appear more extreme than reality.

Your actions are not producing the results you want

Check – your motivation level and reasons for doing a particular task – clarify what you want and become positive to adapt to situation

Fear
Fear is simply something is going to happen soon. We often need to prepare to cope with change than fear. More it is a case of preparing ourselves mentally. The anticipation of events pursues the message being magnified – hence fear prevails. There are different reasons for Fear – and often we are so conditioned to react in a certain way that it destroys our inner strength and makes us retreat.

Imagination gets wild and big as if something wrong is going to happen

Analyse your fears - +ve and –ve factors – outline your options and then write down strong REASON why should you must break your Fear and put it in action

Feeling Hurt
This emotion dominates human relationships – both personal and professional. It is normally generated by sense of loss. Usually someone doesn’t keep their promise or fulfil their duty or meet your expectation or even saying wrongful things about you etc.. leads to one being hurt. We feel a loss of trust or intimacy or care and inwardly we get a feeling of hurt – which is preferably kept within yourself. This hurt feeling does get bigger eventually and affects your mental and physical health.

Our expectation is not met or unhappy the way we have been treated

Are our expectations too high? Can be give others a chance or train or coach?
Are we too sensitive regards the way others feel about us - Do we take things too personal to get hurt?

Anger
Anything from mildly irritated to being angry, furious or even enraged. This is a reaction when we feel challenged or provoked or aggravated. Temper flares up when someone tells deliberate lies or disobeys or not meet our expectations. This behaviour does not work over a long-term. People would not respect you if it continues.

We disrespected others and showed our authority. We violated right of others

Check - Is anger related to a past event or person or feeling? What is the real reason for anger? How can I handle it better next time? Would I like to be treated in the same manner?

Frustration
Frustrations can arise from many avenues. Many times we feel surrounded by problems or road-blocks in our lives. We aim to be making efforts continuously but still not receiving the rewards or results required. Hence we get frustrated - mentally you believe that you could be doing better than you currently are. It is different from Disappointment. Frustration can be a positive sign meaning solution is within the range and can be achieved. Maybe the current practice is not working. Disappointment is a negative feeling that there is something I want but wont be able to get it.

Feeling about something you want and can be achieved but not happening for minor reasons

Best to calm down and think clearly again – re-evaluate your action plan and get positive about it. Don’t rush to decide or act

Disappointment
This can be a destructive emotion as it gets you into negative spiral. You feel let down or devastated that you will miss out on something important forever. When you are expecting more and if you miss out then you feel defeated or lost or sad – feeling disappointed. Usually it is an expectation we have had – a goal/standard set which fails to materialise either due to

Goal you set or expectation you had - now not going to happen

Aim to learn from shortcomings and look at different ways of doing things or changing your goals. It may be a temporary challenge for you – so become positive and learn from each incident.

Guilt
The emotions of guilt, regret and remorse are painful experiences we go through life. It can change our behaviour drastically in certain cases. We are unable to shift things in our mind and it keeps bothering us constantly. We tend to blame ourselves and keep asking why did we behave that way or do that. It may be an indication of change we may go through due to this factor as a learning point. Many times we tend to regret at the moment than later on back into our own strides.

Painful Feeling for something you should have taken better actions or avoided

Is hurt related to a past event or person or certain feeling? What can you do now – ask! Can you and are you willing to put it right - ? Absolutely commit yourself to right course of action and even punishment if you fail to comply

Feeling Unworthy/ Inadequacy
A feeling occurs when we cant do something we should be able to do. Often we are given a chance and we let ourselves down. We miss the opportunity due to lack of effort or practice or understanding – and we feel incapable or worthless at the time. It seems we need to attain a level of skill or knowledge or expertise or even effort which leads to this sort of situation when we feel inadequate.

You are totally destroying yourself by this feeling – as you begin to doubt yourself and your abilities

Focus on your achievements in your life and then start building your self-esteem to ensure you can achieve things and are capable of achieving. Draw an action plan for success

Overwhelmed/ Overloaded
We get into this state with the information overload scenario everywhere. There is an abundance of data/ info available through media/ internet/ mobiles etc.. and find it difficult to keep track of things despite enhanced devices. Feeling of helplessness/ grief or depression merely caused by overloading or overwhelming situations. People get into this state when they begin to feel that nothing can change and the problems will be ongoing. Someone unable to cope with work pressure, difficult child behaviour, or things going wrong that are outside your control. You feel nothing can or will change now and your life has a negative impact.

Doing too many things at once or taking on many challenges or not saying no

Unable to achieve when you are ambitious does get you down. Step back and check reality – what is feasible and take small steps in get things done. Aim to focus on what you can control and become positive and patient.

Loneliness
When we are feeling away from others or separate from concerned people in our life – we begin to get lonely and think that nobody is there for us. We realise that we need to go and reach out to others but tend to push into corner and wait for attention from others. We seem more focused on getting self-pity from others which gets in this state from time to time.

Copyright © Lifezone Training      Compiled and Designed by Bip Parmar

Afraid to open up or connect with people, - unwillingness to go to anyone for help or sharing - preferring solitude

Lots of caring people in this world – so aim to go out and reach them - check what sort of people you need to connect with and sort of help/support you require. Have courage to go and share or find a friend.